I think we are all insecure at some level. I think we all have issues we need to work through. There are so many things that shape us through stimulus response and while I’m not trying to find excuses for why we act like we do, I am trying to find reasons.

And we are so complex. Problem solving people is not like problem solving the engine of a car. You can trace the problem in an engine back to one fault or even a couple of faults. The only thing that would stop you fixing an engine is if you didn’t have the money to fix it. Every engine can be fixed—but is it worth spending $10,000 welding and machining and engine you could buy for $1000 second hand. Every engine can be fixed. But it is not so simple with people.

If someone has a violent streak in them, there are any number of possibilities for why they are like they are. Were they physically abused when they were younger? Have they been told they were useless? Can they only relate to people through instilling fear? Is that how they gain control of their world? Are they the most important person in their very fragile world? Are they mentally unstable? Are they normally really nice, but just through lack of sleep or too much alcohol they become primal?

Any number of reasons as to why someone would be violent at a particular point in time, and even when you do find out what the issue was you still have a job trying to fix it. Someone may move on and grow up but they will always feel vulnerable about that issue in their life. People can’t get replacement time periods from Repco Autoparts. Also there are no secondhand live’s that we can purchase from anywhere. We can be given second chances, but the issues that we leave behind will always be a part of who we are. And that is the tragedy of this thing called life.

We accumulate all these experiences, good and bad, and they form the backdrop to our lives. We will never be able to escape from the fact that what has happened, has happened. You can’t change history.

Let me tell you a story of when I was six years old and I had just arrived from Scotland. It was the seventies and so I was wearing these navy blue nylon slacks which I understand are cool now . . . right? Anyway, my family had been invited around to another church families house for Sunday lunch. It was how they welcomed us into the church. Anyway, there we are, and the son who was the same age as me had some friends come around and we all decided to go outside and play “go home stay home.” Remember I was six. So I was allowed to do that.

So we put our feet in. Now remember that I had just spent 18 months in Scotland and not worn bare feet for all that time. So when I put my feet in one of the boys yelled out “Twinkle toes, twinkle toes” and they all laughed at my bright white feet. And it’s true, compared to their sporty, tanned and hardened feet, my feet did look a little ‘soft’. But because I felt that the remark wasn’t warranted, and that really it shouldn’t matter if I had white feet or not, I was really quite hurt.

That story is not insignificant and in the past. Believe it or not the words from my friend carried a sting for many years to come. From that point I was absolutely paranoid about my white feet. So much so that I refused to wear jandals when we were at the beach, I would go to great lengths not to show my white feet. I’m not going to go into all the examples because I still want you to think I’m cool . . . well . . . I did crazy things to stop people seeing my white feet—like the time I wore socks and jandals to the beach and claimed that I had an infection and so needed to keep them covered. No wonder the chicks didn’t want to go out with me.

The truth is that the words Twinkle Toes often echo around my head and I have to say to myself that it’s ok, white feet don’t reflect your character. It’s not your fault that you tend to hang around indoors more than outdoors and so never get the opportunity to tan. Yep, even now I still have to self talk. But no matter how many thousands of words I throw back at that comment, I am still haunted by that statement. And it’s effect on my life is profound.

So what does this story have to do with James? It’s quite simple. We might say something that we think is a throwaway comment—it scars someone for life.

This is why James is very quick to point out that the tongue is poison. It can wound so quickly, make someone feel sick inside, it can even kill people. Maybe not physically but mentally and spiritually, it can totally and utterly destroy them.

Many of the people we call losers are exactly that because we call them that. If we took the time to talk to them we would find that in fact, they are often like they are for two reasons, one is that they have been told that they’re no good, not worth anything, and the other is because they have grown to believe it. The damage that the tongue can inflict is incredible. It often devastating.

When you are at school and you call someone a dick, have you thought what effect is that having on them? So, you think they should be different—what are you doing to help? Harsh words are a small spark that feeds a huge fire in their life. It sets up barriers to say that to someone. And the problem is, and this is the thing we can often refuse to realise, the problem is that every wound inflicts a scar.

Now we all know this I think at some level, so why do we do it?

Throw into the mix the whole idea that we are meant to be loving other people and we are quite screwed up really. You see James makes this point quite clear in verse 9.

9 With [the tongue] we bless the Lord and Father, and with it we curse those who are made in the likeness of God.

10 From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this ought not to be so.

11 Does a spring pour forth from the same opening both fresh and brackish water?

12 Can a fig tree, my brothers and sisters, yield olives, or a grapevine figs? No more can salt water yield fresh.

You don’t get more blatant than this. It’s clear. The proof of our spiritual integrity is not what goes on inside these walls on a Sunday night. We can sing of his praises forever, but it doesn’t mean much when we turn to someone and call them an idiot, backstab them, seek to put someone down. Now we’re getting into some hard teaching. Because James is not letting us get away with cheap worship. Not at all. He is highlighting a massive issue for us to deal with.

The basis of this statement is what we struggle with most, because it doesn’t let us get away with saying nasty things to people. And the basis is this: everyone is created in the likeness of God. Do you remember the story of the garden of eden and the thing that separates us from animals is that we have had God breathe life into us and that he made us in his image?

What our Christianity is supposed to do is twofold. Bring us closer to God. But also bring us closer to others. Love God love people. Why those two? Because people are created in the image of God. There’s a sense where if we mock someone we actually mock God. If we mock someone we are mocking God’s creation whom he has fearfully and wonderfully made [Psalms 139;14]. If we mock someone then we mock the very heart of God.

Ouch. That’s a tough call, because to add some salt to this wound, James implies that our worship is actually made worthless if we have poisonous tongues. Now let’s think about this just for one moment. We have a routine where we come into church and sing a few songs. I wonder if that’s actually the most helpful thing, because it means that we don’t have to set our hearts right with God before we start singing all these amazing things about him. I wonder if we can just assume that it’s really ok to sing praise to God when we’ve been letting our tongue lash other people.

So let’s talk about that in groups.

How do we get away with singing songs as worship to God when we have said awful things about other people?

It’s quite interesting that we can praise God’s image that we cannot see, and are so quick to damage the image that we do see.

James doesn’t offer us a solution or even give us a command. Nowhere does he say that we must gain control of our tongue. He is a realist. He states that where in verse 2.

2, For all of us make many mistakes. Anyone who makes no mistakes in speaking is perfect, able to keep the whole body in check with a bridle.

He also says in verse 8 that no-one can tame the tongue. He knows how difficult this is. His point then is not that if we say something horrible to someone then we cannot ever sing praises to God, rather I think it is that if we say horrible things to people that we need to be aware of that before we sing praises to God, we don’t ignore we bring it with us and acknowledge it. It’s the same with any of our sin. We cannot live a double life in front of God, so why try? God knows how we treat others, all we need do is seek his forgiveness and ask that he teach us how to see other people as precious. James is telling us not to be content with the double life, but to live with repentance and a longing to make it right with God and get this, other people too.

What makes us say poisonous things in the first place? I think that it’s got a lot to do with our desire to build ourselves up through putting others down. It is so easy to get pleasure in being able to point out someone else’s faults. It’s so easy to prop ourselves up by saying that that person over there isn’t very good.

We want to think that others are worse than us because it makes us feel better. It’s to do with the insecurities that we all have inside and the irony is that we are the product of the same cycle. All the put downs that we’ve endured throughout life affect us and make us feel awful inside. We think we should just toughen up, get it together, sticks and stones will break our bones but names will never hurt me. And we can tuck it away, put on our brave faces and throw ourselves back into the world with a smile, while all the while we ache because we are damaged.

But rather than turn to God, which is a difficult process, because it requires that we acknowledge that we are weak and unable to handle this pain, rather than come before him and work through the process of understanding his acceptance of us we will go for the easy option and chop someone down. Especially the people that hurt us most.

So there is the easy road : chop other people down which neither heals you or acknowledges the real problem, but makes you feel better for a time.

Or there is the hard road. The one that comes before God and asks for his forgiveness. But that comes at great cost.

It comes at great cost because we are required to be honest before him and acknowledge our hurt. Well that’s the easy part.

We realise that God is still loving when he forgives us and embraces us as his children. That too is easy.

The cost, the real cost is in the repentance. Up until this point we have been doing this because we love God. But the second part of the rule comes into play. Love people.

That’s the costly part. Loving others. Seeing them as God sees them. Seeing that they reflect the image of God and are precious to him. Yes, even the worst of the worst, but that too is easy, because we don’t often hang out with them. We need to be able to see that God loves the bully, the dicks, dorks and jerks, the idiots, the proud, arrogant and up themselves, the dweebs, wads, sluts, skanks, wierdos, nerds, and geeks. The boss. The bitter old woman, the grumpy old man, the guy who gave you the fingers while you were driving, the bum who called you names because you wouldn’t give them any money, the co-worker who thinks you’re incompetent, the impetutuous junior with no respect, the teenagers who graffiti your letterbox . . . yep they’re all precious in God’s eyes and reflect something of his image that is fearfully and wonderfully made. How will we love them? Jesus teaches that we should serve these people. Place their needs first. Make them feel better not worse about themselves. Kind words, gentle hellos, and helping hand. It’s simple stuff, but it’s the stuff that will change the world.

Charity starts at home. Bring ourselves to admit our failings and the rest can flow from there.

“Twinkle toes.” It affected me so much that I took every opportunity to put this guy down whenever I could. It made me feel so small and uncool, and I reacted to him. I wish I hadn’t because I’m afraid that I may have squashed some of his dreams and aspirations in the process . . . I guess I’ll never know.

I’m am not a very good Christian when it comes to this. Anyone who knows me even slightly, knows that I’m prone to living my life with my foot in my mouth. But I do try to make amends when I screw up. I don’t like how I have wounded some of you, and for that I have apologised, but I know that the wounds will have scars. Apologies are only ointment for the healing. The true healing takes place when Jesus enters the situation.

I don’t think this sermon will change much. I honestly don’t because these are deep deep reactions that we have and it will take more than a lifetime to master our tongues. But if anything were to change I would hope that it is that we would not ignore the problem of our poisonous tongues but acknowledge it. Because admitting the problem is the first part of the solution.